Accepting what is

Last week I caught a really bad cold, perhaps the worst I've ever experienced. I was unable to think clearly, let alone post any content, so I didn't even try to do so. I was such an aching, congested, coughing mess the entire week that I worried I wouldn’t be able to fly to The Netherlands as planned. Luckily, in the end I managed to make it to the airport and arrived in Utrecht yesterday afternoon. I’m feeling better today, so thought I’d show up for an update :)

I might share a few more pics once I’m back in Italy, but for now, I’ll post a couple from the walking tour of the city center that I took this morning. The English tour I had booked was canceled, so I ended up taking a tour in Spanish with an archaeologist from Peru. Not exactly the tour I had in mind, but a great way to test whether I’m making progress in Spanish! I understood most of it and managed to chat a bit with the tour guide, so I’m satisfied 😃

Adopting a “Sage perspective” and finding opportunities in every challenge or setback is one of the main objectives of the Positive Intelligence training I’m currently doing. Of course, that’s relatively easy to do with something as small as a city tour, but much more challenging with life's bigger problems and sorrows. About ten days days ago, I engaged in one of the program’s exercises, which involved revisiting past life challenges or defeats to find how they could be turned into something positive, an inspiration to achieve something good. I managed to identify some defeats or disappointments that I could more readily accept and turn into something positive. However, I still struggle to view significant events, such as my long struggle with eating disorders or the major sorrows of my childhood, in the same light.

I mean, one of my goals with this blog and future projects is to transform those experiences into something meaningful that can potentially help or inspire others. Yet, I still struggle to see the value in that at times. The past still hurts a lot, and I often wish I could go back in time and change everything, despite mostly liking the person I've become due to my past suffering. In fact, I’m fairly certain that remembering some of those events caused such emotional distress that I was more vulnerable to catching a cold and slower to recover.

What helped me was a few days ago when I felt well enough to lie down on the mat and do some gentle stretches. The practice was recommended for people recovering from an injury or illness, and it was precisely what I needed. While providing my body with the gentle movement it craved, I set the intention to accept – to accept my past, my cold, my current life, the good and the not-so-good. I've also been dealing with acne flare-ups, which have been quite distressing for me as I'd enjoyed great skin for most of my life. I pledged to accept those as well. This doesn’t mean I won’t take action to improve my situation or, as the founder of the program says, to turn it into something useful. It simply means I genuinely want to learn to let go and not waste more energy and health feeling sad and angry about something that is no longer in my control (or never was to begin with).

Someone asked me how I set my daily intentions. Usually, as I start my yoga practice, I assess how I'm feeling, both in my mind and body, and think about the day ahead. Depending on my feelings and what I'll be doing, and with whom, I’ll choose what my most pressing need is or what kind of energy I want to bring to my interactions. I keep it very simple, choosing one or two words. For example, the other day what I most needed was to let go of all the thoughts and memories weighing heavily on my heart and dragging me down, so “acceptance” was my intention. If it’s a day I’m meeting with family or a friend, I might select “loving”; if I have work to do and am feeling distracted I might select “focused”; if I’m particularly tired or dealing with health flare-ups, I’ll remind myself to be mindful and to prioritize “recharging”, and so on. Doing this allows me to take a few minutes to consider my day and what I want to achieve rather than simply going through the motions and ending the day feeling like I had little agency over how it went. As I mentioned in my latest newsletter, even though I often fall short of my stated intention, there’s a remarkable difference between the days when I set an intention and those when I don’t.

That’s all for today. Please share any comments or insights you might have, and don’t forget to share this post with anyone who may find it useful. If you’re curious to know more about the Positive Intelligence training I’m doing, or want to chat more about intentional living or personal development, shoot me an email or book a free call.