Are you a pest?

As I've mentioned before, I enjoyed reading Be More Bonsai by Mark Akins. The author discusses how the ancient practice of growing bonsai trees can lead to a happier, more mindful life and uses it as a springboard to tackle personal development topics. I particularly appreciated the chapter where he discusses how to deal with pests in both your plant and your own life, and decided it was worthwhile to expand more on that.

First off, Akins emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between "good" and "bad" pests, and notes that the former can help us get rid of the latter. He then explains that bad pests bring negative energy into our lives, significantly affecting our mental and physical well-being. Therefore, regardless of why they've entered our space, we need to take adequate measures to protect ourselves, just as we would when someone or something attacks our tree.

So, who exactly are these pests? For instance, those he refers to as "emotional aphids" are individuals who drain your emotional and physical energy by constantly complaining, never being satisfied, and burdening you with their problems. They take more than they give. Then there are the "pest-imists," people who cannot see any good in the world and poison you with their cynicism. Finally, there are the "whine weevils," who always point out problems but never offer solutions. When you share an idea or plan with them, they are quick to tell you why you can't or shouldn't pursue it.

How can you deal with these pests? The first step is to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself whether you recognize any of these traits in your own behavior. Are you dragging yourself down with your own negativity? Are you your own worst enemy, constantly telling yourself that you'll never succeed, and limiting your possibilities? Or have you become a bad pest to the people around you, polluting their lives with your negativity? For example, I often find myself complaining too much, and that's something I'm actively working on. There are several aspects of my life I'm not satisfied with, but I know that complaining about them certainly won't benefit me or the people around me.

Once you've identified your own pest-like traits, it's time for a "Sponsored Bug-blast Day". Choose a day in the upcoming week where you will focus on expressing only positive opinions, ideas, and judgments. Remember to monitor your thoughts, words, and actions toward both yourself and others. Make a sincere effort to be positive and pretend you're being paid by a sponsor to do so. At the end of the day, be honest with yourself: did you genuinely make an effort to curb your negativity, and would you feel good about accepting the money from your sponsor?

Now, it's time to address the other pests in your life, the people who undermine your wellbeing. Review the people in your life—family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances. Do you notice any pests among them? It's not always easy to distance yourself from people who exhibit negative or unhelpful behaviors, but you need to consider how much of your health and happiness you're willing to compromise. Some individuals are better off being removed from your life. With others, you can attempt an open discussion about their unhelpful behaviors. For those whom you can't remove from your life, you may need to limit the time you spend with them. This is where the ability to set boundaries, a topic we will discuss in future posts, becomes crucial.

You should also recognize and appreciate the "good pests" in your life, just as the bonsai benefits from helpful insects living on its leaves. Take stock of the people who support you and lean on them when you're seeking to make changes or accomplish new things. Fill your life with people who are positive about you and your choices.

Now I'd like to hear from you. Are you being a pest, to yourself or to the people around you? Do you have people in your life whose behavior is negatively affecting you? Do you plan on doing a "Sponsored Bug-blast Day"? If so, let us know in the comments, so we can provide accountability and celebrate your success.

If you have any other comments or questions, leave them in the comment section; I'll be happy to read them. You can also email me or book a call to discuss the topic further. Also, remember to share this post with anyone who might find it useful.