Friday Musings—01/11/24

What's new with me

As I shared in my post on Monday, I was recently diagnosed with IBD. I'm still working through all the thoughts and emotions surrounding this, while also trying to figure out the next steps (finding a good specialist isn’t as easy as I’d hoped).

Processing the anger

Speaking of emotions, for the past two months, my therapist has been encouraging me to process all of my anger—something I’d never really allowed myself to feel until now. Anger toward my parents for leaving me to deal with my eating disorders entirely on my own as a teenager; anger toward all the doctors who took my money, belittled my symptoms, and didn’t take me seriously; anger toward the healthcare system that offered me minimal care; anger toward men who tried to control me because I "didn’t know any better" due to my illness, and so on. And now, anger for my late diagnosis of IBD and all the uncertainty and fears it brings.

I’d never felt I had the right to be angry at others (I was much better at turning that anger on myself instead). I also told myself it was pointless—anger wouldn’t change the past, so why feel it? So I would always end up feeling sad instead (not that sadness was any more effective at changing things!). But my therapist insisted it was essential to let my anger come out. And eventually, it did.

It's an uncomfortable and unfamiliar emotion for me to deal with. But when it comes to emotions, the only way out is through, so I'll have to fully acknowledge and process it in order to move on. What's your relationship to anger? Are there any other uncomfortable or unexplored emotions you're currently trying to deal with?

The world's strongest woman

After coming across this article on Rebecca Roberts, who transformed her life through strength training, I thought her story fit perfectly with the themes of advocating for oneself and processing anger. Roberts overcame neglect and loss and channeled her struggles into her training to pursue the title of the world’s strongest woman. Isn't amazing just how resilient we humans can be and what we can achieve?

Snarky sign-offs

For no particular reason, I started ending a lot of my emails this past year with sign-offs like "I'm out," "Slay," or "Live, Love, Namaste." No one commented, so I just kept it up 😄 Recently, I stumbled upon this hilarious piece on snarky Gen Z sign offs, and I immediately added a few to my list. I highly recommend giving them a try if the context allows—they bring me so much joy!

Quote of the week ✍️ 

"I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think."  (Rumi)

As always, I welcome your insights or questions. Which musing was your favorite? What topics would you like to see covered in future newsletters? Any other suggestions? Let me know in the comments or send me an email. Don't forget to share this with someone who may find it interesting.

Enjoy your weekend and TTYS

ML