Friday Musings—07/07/23

In this week's post, I shared how I've been feeling especially vulnerable recently due to a few health flare-ups. It's because of moments of fragility like these that I've come to truly appreciate the impact of kindness. Science has actually shown that engaging in random acts of kindness can lower symptoms of anxiety and depression, enhance our overall well-being, make us less self-absorbed, and contribute to a more compassionate, resilient and connected society. I'd love to know your thoughts on this and learn about your experience with both giving and receiving kindness.

Now onto my weekly musings 😎

Stop overthinking.

I recently finished a short book titled Come smettere di farsi le seghe mentali, roughly translated as "How to stop mentally masturbating". My expectations were quite low, but to my surprise, it turned out to be an insightful read. I also discovered that the author is an interesting character—a psychology professor and psychotherapist with an interest in yoga and Buddhism and an incredibly rich (and difficult) life journey. His intention in writing this book was to make us aware, in a lighthearted manner, of the excessive overthinking we subject ourselves to on a daily basis.

One analogy that resonated with me was his comparison of thoughts to knives, which we can either use to spread butter on our bread or to harm ourselves. Strangely enough, when it comes to our thoughts, we often choose to harm ourselves. We spend our days obsessing over things that exist only in our minds, allowing past memories and future worries to sabotage our present experiences. So, what's the solution? According to the author, the first step is to fully immerse ourselves in the present moment, embracing the here and now. Children instinctively possess this ability (as do our pets, it would seem), but as we grow older, we unfortunately lose touch with this innate capacity to simply be. I'd suggest trying out The Tangerine Meditation (which can be practiced with any other piece of fruit) as a starting point. I've slowly started turning my lunches, which I usually eat alone, into moments when I make a deliberate effort to appreciate my food, observe my feelings and clear my mind of any distraction.

I'll admit that so far I've had very limited success in taming my monkey brain. But the mere realization of just how many thoughts are running through my head at any given moment has been somewhat of a shocker. The author goes on to say that once we are able to tap into this "inner silence", this ability to be fully present and observe the current moment without being overpowered by intrusive thoughts or worries, we will start living with heightened awareness and intentionality. That's when our every action will be deliberate and purposeful, and we'll be living in alignment with the teachings of the Buddha. A lofty aspiration for sure, but as they say, aim for the moon and you'll land among the stars, or something to that effect!

Your goals or your ego?

This past Monday I attended a group session led by the coach who introduced me to the world of self-development. The main objective of the meeting was to conduct a mid-year review, assessing where we're at and reflecting on where we want to go from here. Living with intentionality involves periodically questioning our goals and ensuring we're actively taking steps to achieve our future vision. An interesting takeaway for me was that we often allow our ego to hinder our progress towards our desired outcomes. Whenever we prioritize how we look or how we might feel in the pursuit of a goal, rather than focusing on the goal itself, we get to keep our ego safe, but fail to take steps towards our goal.

Personally, I've experienced this dilemma in my attempts to create content around my recovery journey. Despite my aspiration to share the lessons I've learned with as many people as possible, I hesitated to get started because of the fear of potential negative responses or concerns about the quality of my content. In essence, I cared more about the (imaginary) judgment of strangers than using my own experience to create something valuable. This realization actually ties in perfectly with our previous discussion on "mental masturbation"! Instead of immersing myself in the project and embracing the process, I was allowing all these relentless thoughts– products of my fears and limiting beliefs–to sabotage my life. It's only human to seek external validation and to worry about what others might think, and I'm no exception. However, when doubt creeps in and we start overthinking, we should take a few deep breaths, mindfully eat a tangerine, and revisit our "why", our personal reasons for pursuing our goals.

Solastalgia and our world on fire.

Are you familiar with the term "solastalgia"? Coined by environmental philosopher Glenn Albrecht, it encapsulates the pain experienced when the place we call home faces destruction due to environmental change. I discovered this term thanks to this article, whose author perfectly captures the distress I feel when confronted with images of the relentless destruction of our precious natural resources. Our planet seems to be slowly dying before our very eyes, leaving me with an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

I know that focusing on things beyond our control is unproductive, and unfortunately the issue of global warming is largely in the hands of governments and large corporations. However, it's our collective future that's at stake, and the future of every other living creature we share this beautiful planet with. I'd like to turn my grief into actionable change. That's why I'd like to open up a discussion and hear your perspective on this matter. Does the state of our environment distresses you as well? How do you personally cope with this? Are there specific actions or movements you support that give you a sense of contributing towards finding a solution?

Quote of the week ✍️

"A goal without a plan is just a wish". (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)

That's all from me today, enjoy your weekend and TTYS

ML