Friday Musings—27/06/25

What's new with me

I had a long chat with a new acquaintance of mine, who is a relationship coach. It was great to have her feedback and encouragement on a whole series of issues. She also made an interesting remark regarding my perceived lack of agency and my tendency to always second-guess myself.

While it's true that I'm still not the paragon of self-confidence, it's also true—as she pointed out—that over the past couple of years there have been situations where I didn't cave in and stood my ground (despite the fears and the second-guessing). And if I go back and read my old diaries, or even just my first blog posts from 2023 (which marks the real beginning of my recovery), I can see how far I've come.

This leads me to a few reflections:
a) it's good to have a sounding board from time to time, someone you trust who can get you out of your head and offer a different perspective;
b) rather than comparing ourselves to other people (whose lives we don't even fully know), let's focus on our own journey and the progress we're making;
c) our memories aren't always reliable, so periodically writing things down can provide us with more solid reminders whenever we want to look back and connect the dots.

🎬

Another week, another YouTube video. This is video number six on my channel, and it's the one that has had the most views so far. It's another short vlog where I chat about why I think it's important to periodically pause and take time to think in a world of endless content consumption. I also share an insight from one of the latest books I read, “Confessions of a Public Speaker”.

I'm also thinking of creating a playlist of book reviews in video format (do you like the idea?).

🗞️

I think all of us experience regret at some point in our lives. It can be regret over the things we did or the things we didn't do. I definitely find the latter worse, and research seems to agree.

Trying to avoid, deny, or squash regret is ultimately futile, so what do we do if we don't want this powerful emotion to keep us stuck? This article offers some tips and explains a commonly used cognitive psychological model called REACH.

I liked the reminder that we don't have a crystal ball. Most times, we just made the best decision we could, given the circumstances and the information we had at the time. Also, as you'll learn by watching the TED Talk included in the article, the only ways to avoid regret are apparently either being a sociopath or getting a lobotomy! I also found the speaker's comment on the "Ctrl+Z culture" pretty interesting, and I'm definitely on board with her endorsement of humor, even black humor.

😃

Thinking about your regrets?! To lighten your mood, here is a long list of quick and easy ideas to get healthier and happier in just five minutes, courtesy of Guardian readers and writers. It’s an old article, but there are a few good ideas in there that I like to revisit from time to time (and some that are so silly they just make me lol).

Quote of the week ✍️ 

"You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding".  (Cheryl Strayed)

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you have any suggestions or insights, feel free to share them in the comments. And if you know someone who might enjoy my musings, please pass this along—I’d love to grow this community.

Until next time,

ML