The kindness loop

The past ten days have put my resilience and mental balance to the test, as I navigate health-related challenges. These flare-ups force me to slow down and find ways to accommodate my body's needs and limitations. So shorter walks, gentler yoga practices, heat pillows, saying no to certain activities, and so on.

It's a time of vulnerability, both physically and mentally. It's also a time when I find myself craving social connection and reassurance, and I cherish other people's random acts of kindness more than I usually would.

A stranger's genuine smile, a considerate neighbor holding the door open for me, the butcher offering a small discount—all these little gestures make me feel a little less isolated during moments of need. They also inspire me to be kinder in turn. I find myself reassuring the cashier who is new to the job that I don't mind waiting a bit longer as she figures things out, reading labels out loud for an old lady who forgot her glasses at home, wishing others a happy day.

In moments of better health, I don't consider myself unkind—at least I hope I'm not!—but I'm often more absorbed in my day-to-day routine and less attuned to the world around me.

I was pondering all of this a couple of days ago and telling myself I should strive to be kinder and more patient on a regular basis when one of my online connections posted an article on the healing power of kindness. The author cited a study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology that revealed that engaging in random acts of kindness is effective at reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression, fostering a sense of connection, and enhancing overall life satisfaction. Acts of kindness were defined as "big or small acts that benefit others or make them happy, typically at some cost to yourself in terms of time or resources".

One noteworthy finding from the study suggests that engaging in acts of kindness diminishes our "self-focused attention", a trait that has been linked with emotional distress and impaired social functioning. Performing acts of kindness requires a shift in attention away from ourselves and onto the needs of other people, at least temporarily.

This might explain why I feel a little better when I embrace what I call the "kindness loop", i.e. giving and receiving acts of kindness. During those moments, my concerns about my health and other worries temporarily fade away, and I'm reminded that we're all interconnected and that we should try to comfort and help each other out as much as possible.

I think we can all agree that life is filled with challenges. However, by deliberately redirecting our focus from ourselves to others on a regular basis, we can not only improve our own well-being, but also contribute to creating a more compassionate, resilient and connected society. A win-win for all!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. What is your experience with the kindness loop? How self-absorbed do you find yourself? Perhaps you have concrete examples of how kindness has positively influenced your life that you could share in the comments.

As someone who occasionally becomes too self-focused, I welcome your input and encouragement. And please share this post with anyone you believe might find it valuable. Let's inspire each other to nurture a kinder world.