On doing and being

Receiving the same message from four different people last week made it clear to me that the universe was sending me a message. It also made it inevitable that I would end up writing a post about it!

On Tuesday our "movement" professor at the theater school (I still haven't learned what the actual name of that class is 😅) tasked us with preparing a monologue where words would match movement. His main observation in the end was about our tendency to rush through the monologue and exit the stage hastily. We were all about the "doing", but inserting pauses throughout the routine and standing still at the end to notice how we felt and how it had landed was just as important. This wasn't the first time he stressed the importance of pausing to balance and strengthen our performances. It struck me how similar this concept is to our daily lives. Have you ever found yourself rushing through a conversation, only to realize later that you missed an opportunity for deeper connection? I know I have. Do you ever take a moment to really appreciate how you feel after a meal or an interaction with a colleague or friend? How often do you pause and ground yourself before diving into the next task? In acting, as in life, it's all about finding the balance between doing and being.

The following day, I had a conversation with one of my students who is planning a trip to Italy in the summer and has booked a concert at the Teatro del Silenzio, an outdoor venue in the hometown of Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli. My student, who plays a couple of instruments and does a bit of singing himself, recently watched a documentary on Bocelli and shared that one of his main takeaways was the singer's appreciation for moments of silence and his gratitude towards a teacher who taught him that pauses and silence are essential components of every song. I remarked that this reminded me of what my theater teacher had just told me, and we both took some time to reflect on that and on how silence has become a bit of a foreign concept to us in a world filled with noise and distractions.

Continuing on the theme of appreciation for silence and stillness, on Friday, our improv teacher had us engage in exercises where we had to let the roles choose us, so to speak. Divided into couples, each pair had to look into each other's eyes and just wait until we felt who was who and how to start the scene. We all found it rather uncomfortable at first. The teacher explained that our discomfort was predictable, as most of us tend to avoid prolonged eye contact in real-life conversations as well, and that we could use this experience to start paying more attention to and experimenting with how we interact with people in our daily lives. Once the roles were established, we had to be reminded once more that, instead of rushing to find a successful ending, we should embrace pauses and uncertainties, allowing the scene to evolve naturally.

Finally, during a live class on Sunday, I was reminded of the importance of shavasana, the final resting pose in yoga, and one I still struggle with. Our teacher encouraged us to view those minutes as a precious opportunity to feel the effects of the practice and just let ourselves be, without having to do or think about anything, which is something we rarely do. It reminded me of my first encounter with yoga ten years ago at a retreat on a tiny island off the West coast of Ireland. I had never done yoga before, but had been doing pilates for a while, so I decided to give it a try. Since there was no final resting pose after a pilates class, I initially found shavasana rather pointless. I still recall the teacher asking me why I kept fidgeting and found it hard to stay still for five minutes. At the time, I couldn't bear to be with my thoughts and feelings, and would constantly drown them out by keeping busy or by numbing myself via my eating disorders. While I've made considerable progress, my shavasanas are still somewhat fidgety and this class was a good reminder there's still lots of room for improvement.

In a world that values constant "doing", it's easy to overlook the power of pauses and silence. And yet, by embracing these pauses we can build better connections, find more fulfillment in our daily experiences, develop more self-awareness and clarity, and ultimately also become more productive! From grounding techniques to journaling, from going for a mindful walk to slowing down during our meal, there are so many ways we can dedicate a few minutes throughout the day to just "being". I've shared some practical tips on grounding here, and can go deeper in a future post.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. What's your balance between doing and being? Do you have any tools and suggestions you'd like to share in the comments? I'm also resuming my online meetings, so send me an email or book a call if you'd like to have a chat on personal growth, mindfulness and life in general, and don't forget to share this with someone who may find it useful.